August 2000:

Memories of Tony DeBlase
Part I: Requiem for a Lost Friend
by bob harris Copyright © 1999-2001
"On July 21, 2000, between 2:30 and 2:45 PM, Anthony F. DeBlase, a.k.a.
Fledermaus passed peacefully away in Portland, Oregon." And so it was, in emails
world wide, that the Leather/SM Community received the news that one of our most
beloved members had been taken from us. A collective sadness quickly fell as our
entire community mourned his death. There are only a very few among us whose
passing would elicit a similar response. And none equal to that caused by the simple
announcement about Tony.

There is hardly a Leatherperson who has not benefited from his the contributions of
Tony DeBlase, whether through his extensive educational articles and SM fiction,
published in nearly every magazine dealing with the Leather lifestyle; his days as
publisher and editor of such landmark publications as Drummer and Mach; as the
creator of the journals DungeonMaster and Sandmutopia Guardian; four editions of the
Leather History Timeline; the founding and operation of Sandmutopia University; his
years on the Executive Council of Living in Leather (LIL), and as a founding member
and executive on the Board of Directors for the Leather Archives and Museum
(LA&M); his series of SM how-to videos; or the countless seminars/demos/workshops
he presented.

His best-known contribution, which will forever endear Tony to the hearts of
Leatherpeople worldwide as his creation of the symbol of our lifestyle, the Leather
Pride Flag.

But Tony was so much more than just an icon. A true sadist, you could not help but
notice the gleam in his eye, the mischievous smile on his lips, when the prospect of
having a new victim to "torture" presented itself. An expert in a number of fetish play
areas, highly respected as a Master in the handling of whips and the art of bandage, he
was also well known as one of the most proficient, creative and exhaustive
administrators of CBT which made him sought after by hordes of boys at every event
he attended. And of course, being quite aware of his obligations as a teacher, not to
mention his own insatiable desire for fresh play toys, very rarely did he turn down a
boy's request that Tony use his body to practice and/or further enhance his skills in
whatever play area he desired. It was the proverbial "tough job" that somebody needed
to suffer through and get done. Luckily, Tony enjoyed the challenge and was willing to
do whatever was required to get it done and then some. Poor boys didn't know what
they were letting themselves in for. Give Tony an open invitation and chances were he
was, very happily, going to take it.

But the boys could not have been in more capable, caring or gentle hands. Push it to
the limit and beyond, Tony would, but always with a very sensitive eye to the boys'
well-being and tolerance levels. No boy was ever in any danger of being pushed too far
or too fast no matter how much they insisted that they were willing to do "whatever
you want, Sir". On the other hand, no boy ever left disappointed. Tony had the ability
to make each boy feel special, to reach a new level of confidence in himself as a
submissive, no matter how routine or light the session had actually been. That's a skill
only the most experienced and caring Dominants possesses.

Whether through his SM activism, his writing, or his dominance, no one in the modern
history of our culture has touched us as Tony did. To those who knew him, he
exemplified the integrity, honor and trustworthiness that are the traditional hallmarks of
a Leatherperson. Tony truly loved the lifestyle. It was evident in every aspect of his
work for the Community and in every aspect of his play. No one has done more for
our Community, worked more tirelessly, or striven harder to preserve our traditions
and heritage than Tony DeBlase.

Part II: A boy's Memory

Sir and i were in Ft. Lauderdale as part of the faculty for Dungeon 301. The event was
held at a motel that had two floors that were in a U shape around an inner courtyard. A
section of the rooms on the ground floor had been set up as dungeon rooms to be used
both as classrooms for the how-to seminars on various types of play; and at night, after
the class sessions were done, as play spaces for any attendees who wanted to use them.

Sir waited until fairly late on Saturday night, when most of the others had finished
playing and were heading back to their room, before instructing me to get the box we
had brought containing supplies for a temporary piercing scene. The room He wanted
to use contained a medical exam table. The walls were covered with black plastic and
white Christmas lights, creating the impression that one was standing outdoors under
starry skies. I put on one of the CD's we like to use; Sir strapped a blindfold in place,
laid me down on the table, and began inserting the needles.

Sir had just about all the needles He planned on using inserted when a good friend of
ours, Bear Man, peeked in. Bear Man is the organizer of the Dungeon series and was
making a last check of the rooms for the night to lock up those that were no longer
being used. He came in just long enough to see what we were doing and for Sir to
describe what He had in mind once the needles were in.

A few minutes later, Bear Man came back. i could not make out what Sir and Bear
Man were saying because they were speaking very softly across the room, but i did
recognize Bear Man's voice. Being blindfolded, i couldn't see that someone else was
also present and i didn't hear a third voice, yet i sensed that someone else was in the
room. For some mysterious reason, i felt that it was Tony DeBlase. At the time, Sir
and i did not know Tony that well. We had been introduced through a mutual friend a
couple years prior, and had talked briefly on a few occasions. Even so, it was not a
surprise when Sir came over to tell me that Tony had asked to stay and watch for a
while.

Sir continued with the piercings and then laced them with string to give them a little
extra pull. He then fashioned a codpiece by sewing a piece of fur to my skin. I felt Him
place something on top of the fur but from the weight and feel, couldn't figure out what
it was. I heard Him talking softly to Tony, then He came back to tell me that the object
was a knife i had given Him, and that if i felt ready, He wanted to do a cutting. He also
asked if i would be alright to have Tony present when He did it.

We had been discussing doing a cutting for over a year. When we first got together, i
had told Sir that it was one of the few play areas that i was not interested in. But i had
become interested after seeing a cutting demonstration that Pat Califia had presented. I
was excited at the thought of finally trying it and both thrilled and honored that Tony
would be there. i admired and highly respected Tony not only for all he had done for
the lifestyle, but also as someone who i felt exemplified and defined what being a
Leatherman meant and what the Leather Lifestyle was supposed to be about.

A few months prior to that evening, Sir given me the honor of having His last name,
Harris. The cutting Sir did that night were the letters b and h which he placed on my
lower abdomen. I cannot describe the feeling that came over me when i realized that
He was now marking me permanently with my new initials.

Through it all i could feel Tony there with us, feel the strength and the calming force of
the energy he was sending us. This sacred act took place in the presence of the man
who gave us the symbol of our culture, the Leather Pride Flag; a man who was at the
forefront in urging us to preserve our history and traditions. Tony instinctively and
generously warmed and comforted me by being fully aware and deeply appreciative of
the importance of what was taking place.

There have only been two instances in the dungeon when i have been brought to tears.
The first time was out of disappointment. It was during one of my very first flogging
scenes with my first lover. I had to ask him to stop after only a few strokes and began
to cry, disappointed in myself that i had let him down in not being able to last longer, in
not providing him the full enjoyment he should have had.

The second time was that night, and this time they were tears of joy. For on that night i
received the highest of honors: Sir marked me with the symbol of my identity in this
lifestyle. The feelings and emotions of that night will live with me forever.

Although we were more acquaintances than friends of Tony's before that night, a
deeper friendship quickly developed after the cutting. By being there, and witnessing
the act, Tony had become a part of the experience. It still brings tears to my eyes when
i think back on the beauty of what we had shared and the bond that was forged that
night between Tony, Sir and myself. And although i deeply regret that we will not have
the opportunity for our friendship with Tony to continue to grow, the memory of that
night, of how it touched and changed us, will be with me forever.

Send commentaries to Master Doug and bob harris.

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