"Aftercare" is a nice word and all to often it is relegated only to submissives.

I prefer to address "care" in general ~ before care, during care, as well as aftercare.

We are all living, breathing entities that require a certain amount of care. Depending on the circumstances it can be non-existant, nominal or extensive.

As a dominant I choose to look at the whole picture ... but will confine this diatribe to the focal point of a scene.

"Before care" means to me that I, as a dominant, have taken the time to check in with my submissive on several issues some of which may include: Any change in health status, physical energy, emotional state, general intensity of the impending scene as well as if they have eaten adequately. I generally include these things in conversation while going out to dinner (ensures the eating prior to a scene). It is also a good time to check in with myself as well. If you are one that tends to plan a scene it is good to check in with your own emotional and physical condition. Day to day living can effect us in many ways and often we can too busy to notice.

"During care" consists of hands on as well as visual monitoring of ones submissive. It too can extend to monitoring of yourself ~ often one may see a dominant provide a submissive with water for hydration (or sports drink to keep electrolytes in balance) ~ take time to do so for yourself in a lengthy or intense scene. Diabetic or not the physical and emotional expenditures reduce our energy levels. There isn't anything wrong with ensuring optimum performance on both sides of the lash perse'. I think self-care is a reflection of how much we care about our partner(s).

"After care" ~ Most cases of after care are given first and foremost to the submissive/bottom. Their needs are generally the most apparent from being the recipient of our "tender loving care".

In the case of dominants and tops consider that you often have been expending a great deal of not only physical energy but mental energy as well ... and keeping yourself in check with the responsibilities of your submissive's state of mind as well as their physical condition. Do not discount the drain this can have on a person both physically and mentally. It is not uncommon for dominants to find themselves having "dom drop" without recognizing the symptoms for what they are. It can be manifested in an emotional drop, lethargy as well as physical exhaustion up and above what would be considered "normal" for the type of play involved. It can last a short time or days in the same way that sub-space can have lingering effects.

What can a submissive do to address after care for a dominant?

After the submissive has their immediate needs are met and have gotten their sea legs back then it is time to see to the needs of their dominant. That could be as simple as giving him/her some personal space(depending on their proclivities), something to eat or drink to re-energize, perhaps a little shoulder rub, or sharing a cigarette, etc. This can be done in before, after or in conjunction with checking in with each other after the scene for input ie what and why something worked or didn't work. There are many things that can change the way a scene plays out. Note the subtleties of the inter-dynamics of both participants that create the variations within a scene as it is played out so that the "same old thing" isn't always the "same old thing".

Being able to communicate our needs, whether dominant or submissive, in an open and respectful way to each other is, in my opinion, one of the things that elevated a lifestyle relationship from the ordinary to something of exquisite form, beauty and wonder.