Water Sports Training Manual
by Hartley
PLAYING FAIR
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3. PLAYING FAIR
Everything I have to say in this section is summarized by the three words: respect your
lover. Your lover wants to please you. You ought never put your lover in a situation
where he or she must choose between pleasing you and avoiding something he or she
finds disturbing. Any sex practice against which taboos exist is likely to be more
difficult for one partner to accept than the other. Go slow. Allow your partner to
become comfortable with easy things first. Move on step by step. If your lover balks
at something, accept it and don't apply pressure. The situation may turn in your favor
by itself someday. And even if it doesn't, you will still have the one thing that is most
important.
Don't ever surprise your lover by doing something new you haven't talked about first.
Trust means your lover knowing what to expect from you.
Some of the activities discussed later on involve both preparation and clean up (in
particular laundry). Share these tasks with your lover, or even offer to do all of them.
For example, if you don't have your own laundry machine, your partner might feel
embarrassed bringing the laundry resulting from your frolicking into a public
laundromats. Offer to perform the job yourself.
And this next rule is especially important. Unless both of you explicitly agree that
telling is okay and unless you both want the world to know about your sexual tastes,
don't reveal to anybody -- not friends, not relatives, nobody -- what you've been up to.
Remember, erotic peeing is not going to be on your lover's clergyman's list of
sanctioned sex acts any time soon. Promise your lover not to tell. And don't feel shy
about asking your lover to promise the same. Nothing builds trust between lovers
better than a shared secret. Nothing kills trust faster than a breach of confidence. Keep
your secrets secret.
And say, "I love you," often.