I see PDR as aspects of the same thing. To make it easier to present and understand I decided to use three words to describe this single "essence" of BDSM.
What these three words have in common is the element of discomfort. Pain is simply extreme discomfort. Physical restraint, while it may not be physically uncomfortable, is a type of psychological discomfort--a restriction of physical freedom.
Obvious examples of the types of PDR seen in BDSM include: bondage, flogging, whipping, piercing, waxing and branding. These are "physical." Psychological pain, etc., can be humiliation, abuse, degradation and psychological torture, while psychological restraint can be just simple authorative control.
The so-called "service ethic", or desire to please one's dominant, is a pleasure experienced by a submissive due to the restraint imposed on her by the dominant. The submissive given free rein is far less happy than one who is instructed on what to do and how to please by her dominant partner. In this way he imposes restraints on the way that she may please him.
It may also be that this service ethic is a reinforcement response to the pleasure experienced by the submissive as her dominant takes and exerts control over her. By adopting the "service ethic" the control tranfer is highlighted, or even magnified, and the submissive experiences the control transfer in a more concrete way.
Abuse and submission
A woman, before realizing or being aware that she is a submissive may feel the stirrings of the as-yet unfocussed desires or needs for control and PDR. Ignorant of what they mean or how to handle them, she may consciously or subconsciously start looking around for satisfaction. It is very easy for a submissive in this state to find herself either being abused or taken advantage of.
If her PDR desires or needs are very strong, she may find herself subconsciously propelled into relationships with abusive partners--the difference between loving PDR and abuse not being recognized.
She may even find herself in the BDSM scene and then find that her inexperience and her needs conspire and make her vulnerable to (ie. fall into the hands of) uncaring or selfish dominants.
It is difficult to avoid these situations as they are born of ignorance and desire. However, over time, one can hope that each submissive will find the control and PDR that she needs imposed by a caring and capable dominant.
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