[06:41:27] bert:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[06:41:27] lynnfinefood:
<Has left the Dungeon (autologout).>

[06:42:04] bert:
<Has left the Dungeon>

[09:08:39] aagg:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[10:59:17] masterofmbs:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[17:07:43] Agnon:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[17:08:06] Agnon:
<Has left the Dungeon>

[17:13:26] Agnon:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[17:13:33] Agnon:
<Has left the Dungeon>

[17:38:16] lynnfinefood:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[17:40:31] lynnfinefood:
hi

[17:42:23] lynnfinefood:
brb 5 40

[17:57:25] lynnfinefood:
<Has left the Dungeon (autologout).>

[18:13:57] lynnfinefood:
<Enters the Dungeon.> hi

[18:15:35] lynnfinefood:
ccome to me

[18:30:36] lynnfinefood:
<Has left the Dungeon (autologout).>

[18:49:33] lynnfinefood:
<Enters the Dungeon.> jj

[19:01:48] MistressInk:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[19:02:25] MistressInk:
you there doll?

[19:02:53] MistressInk:
just got your email.....

[19:03:55] MistressInk:
*whistling to Myself*

[19:04:43] lynnfinefood:
<Has left the Dungeon (autologout).>

[19:05:55] MistressInk:
will hang out, and see if you return

[19:07:22] MistressInk:
<just sitting here>

[19:08:39] lynnfinefood:
<Enters the Dungeon.> hi

[19:09:23] lynnfinefood:
nice to see you just finished supper and taking a look at your pictures you sent me

[19:09:26] MistressInk:
hey! how's things?

[19:10:43] lynnfinefood:
ss

[19:10:47] MistressInk:
<Enters the Dungeon.> <just sitting here>

[19:10:54] lynnfinefood:
hey hello

[19:11:29] lynnfinefood:
nice to see you Mistress Ink looking foward to be your servant

[19:12:53] lynnfinefood:
are you there

[19:12:58] MadamInk:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[19:13:16] MadamInk:
it has locked up on Me twice......lol

[19:13:17] lynnfinefood:
hi

[19:13:25] MadamInk:
running out of nicknames

[19:13:35] lynnfinefood:
ok nice to see you Mistress Ink

[19:13:54] lynnfinefood:
i know it did it to me too

[19:14:00] MadamInk:
as to the pictures.....you like?

[19:14:56] wink372:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[19:15:02] lynnfinefood:
yes are great fun... do you have any connection with them?

[19:15:43] wink372:
hello all

[19:16:05] lynnfinefood:
hi

[19:16:28] lynnfinefood:
seem to be having lot of troubles

[19:16:58] wink372:
with?

[19:17:20] theInkster:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[19:17:24] lynnfinefood:
do you know any of player or are the pic from the net ?

[19:17:37] theInkster:
can you get5 onto MSN chatrooms lynn?

[19:18:31] lynnfinefood:
not today as the club adminstration will not allow a down load of chat..

[19:19:07] lynnfinefood:
im getting error tooooooooooooooo

[19:19:21] theInkster:
all I have to do is go to MSN chat and create a room, send you the link via email

[19:19:34] lynnfinefood:
<just sitting here>

[19:19:55] wink372:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[19:19:57] theInkster:
no download involved

[19:20:03] lynnfinefood:
i dont have the solf ware that would be true but here is a fire wall not allowed

[19:20:32] lynnfinefood:
ok try it !!! im your servant Mistress

[19:21:07] lynnfinefood:
i will go to chat now too or stay on hotmail.?

[19:21:15] theInkster:
hmmm.......this is gonna suck big time then......*chuckle* will have tomake sure sentences are the bare minimum

[19:21:46] theInkster:
ok.....let Me set up room......I'll send you link on hotmail

[19:21:57] lynnfinefood:
you are an excellent writer and speller Mistress

[19:22:07] lynnfinefood:
ok

[19:22:39] theInkster:
will open up another browser to do it, so can stay in touch through here.....and thx, don't tell My proffs....lol

[19:23:27] wink372:
having trouble in here?

[19:23:57] lynnfinefood:
ok

[19:25:19] lynnfinefood:
yes, big bad bike lady!!!your humble servant finefood lynn

[19:26:30] MistressInk:
<Has left the Dungeon (autologout).>

[19:26:30] theInkster:
almost done, slave

[19:28:13] theInkster:
ok doll........sent link to hotmail

[19:28:38] theInkster:
finally, the other Me has left

[19:28:59] lynnfinefood:
to lynnstrang @hotmail.com ?

[19:29:23] theInkster:
yes, only email addy I have for you

[19:30:42] theInkster:
http://groups.msn.com/theDungeons/chat

[19:30:55] theInkster:
hey.....there's the link for ya

[19:31:22] lynnfinefood:
so it trying to down load now we will see what happens

[19:32:14] lynnfinefood:
not loading i regart that the fire wal is here an i dont have the authoriey to change

[19:32:33] theInkster:
didn't make Me download anything.......hmmmm, unless it was something I already had

[19:32:51] lynnfinefood:
we will need to chat here

[19:33:05] lynnfinefood:
you already have it

[19:33:09] theInkster:
shit.......ah well......W/we'll have to make the best of this crap then

[19:33:14] lynnfinefood:
as i do on my computer

[19:33:28] lynnfinefood:
no here but my reaal one

[19:33:53] theInkster:
patience will be required for sure....lol

[19:34:13] lynnfinefood:
any way im now a member

[19:34:24] theInkster:
so, slave........about those pictures you've promised......

[19:35:01] theInkster:
cool!.....whenever W/we get the chance to chat there....

[19:35:15] lynnfinefood:
i will get them out to you but need to gethome an get my computer working

[19:36:15] theInkster:
might have the "real thing" before then? *wink*

[19:37:22] theInkster:
how long you in dc for?

[19:37:55] lynnfinefood:
so will go home friday about 1 pm

[19:38:19] theInkster:
<just sitting here>

[19:38:37] lynnfinefood:
really interesting job here at one of the best clubs in va. lots of goverment here

[19:38:44] theInkster:
I will await them with "baited breath".......

[19:39:23] lynnfinefood:
ok Mistress yes M\an

[19:39:48] theInkster:
this may sound like a strange question, but what perfume do you wear?

[19:40:15] theInkster:
the scent one wears can tell much about them

[19:40:35] lynnfinefood:
loral ashley she used to sell clothes in england

[19:40:40] wink372:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[19:41:12] lynnfinefood:
it is kinda ashey .. for real not because of name

[19:42:14] theInkster:
ahh......sweet? spicey? woodsey?

[19:42:27] lynnfinefood:
just hit refresh top an type should not have to reenter

[19:42:38] lynnfinefood:
woodsey

[19:42:59] lynnfinefood:
ash as in wood

[19:45:54] theInkster:
<just sitting here>

[19:46:28] theInkster:
frustrated!!

[19:46:36] lynnfinefood:
hi

[19:46:54] theInkster:
just finished typing the same thing 3 f'n times.......lol

[19:46:59] lynnfinefood:
can you read my message about refresh

[19:47:12] theInkster:
and it didn't take each time

[19:47:26] theInkster:
yes, didn't help tho

[19:47:34] lynnfinefood:
ok im not have any problem

[19:47:38] lynnfinefood:
ok sorry

[19:48:01] lynnfinefood:
close some of your windows

[19:48:12] theInkster:
np.....been hittin refresh each time.....sometimes works, sometimes no

[19:48:24] theInkster:
<just sitting here>

[19:49:01] theInkster:
My perfume. Organza Indecence, by Givenchy....very patchouli

[19:49:05] lynnfinefood:
so what does Master blue have on mind to build that will be fun

[19:49:23] theInkster:
wow, worked that time.....that's the condenced version tho....lol

[19:49:53] lynnfinefood:
i have another it may be givenchy i will look next time

[19:49:55] theInkster:
is a spanking/prayer bench.....with a bit of an incline

[19:50:36] theInkster:
will keep your ass up nice and proud

[19:50:46] lynnfinefood:
oh ok what i need is a prayer bench

[19:51:40] theInkster:
will have "eyelets" on the sides to clip cuffs to

[19:52:07] lynnfinefood:
organza

[19:52:54] theInkster:
can't wait to see what you "have under the hood".......

[19:53:38] theInkster:
W/we could email each other faster......LMAO!

[19:53:45] lynnfinefood:
357 chevey

[19:54:20] theInkster:
a big block, in otherwords......*wink*

[19:54:37] lynnfinefood:
with a vw eshast

[19:54:41] lynnfinefood:
muffler

[19:55:08] theInkster:
so, do you particularly like submitting to a woman?

[19:55:08] lynnfinefood:
hot pistions with lots of compression

[19:56:10] lynnfinefood:
im qual in my submission ... may be just a little more on to a male submission

[19:56:34] theInkster:
I would qualify Myself as a 1969 Mustang "BOSS" 429

[19:56:34] lynnfinefood:
not much exp with f submission only two time and it was a wild time too

[19:57:31] theInkster:
mmmm.....look forward to a possible "training session"

[19:57:40] lynnfinefood:
i just have just a great feeling when my head is in the coch of a female.

[19:58:22] theInkster:
especially when I grab you by the back of the head and ram it into My croch?

[19:59:24] lynnfinefood:
also ,, most but not all my continous orgamism have come another female putting me there not usually a man and i like that Mistress

[19:59:49] theInkster:
while Master Blue reddens your ass before He rams it home

[20:01:46] theInkster:
I can be cruel, but I have a "wicked" sense of humour while doing so.....I think you will enjoy My style

[20:01:47] lynnfinefood:
you afternoon training sesssion seem like to be real exciting .. i guess we will do the friday in sept...

[20:03:02] theInkster:
not coming the end of August then?

[20:03:06] lynnfinefood:
please Mistress .. not too wicked.. im a beginner be slow with me

[20:03:52] lynnfinefood:
yes but go right home... just an into to the job .. talk about it with all and about 2 and half days

[20:04:28] theInkster:
not to worry......will begin very easy with you.....I will read your performance and discuss with you as W/we play as to when you wish to increase

[20:04:44] lynnfinefood:
introduction to the job

[20:06:49] lynnfinefood:
i lose you again

[20:07:07] theInkster:
Friday September 5th then?

[20:07:15] theInkster:
yep, froze

[20:07:49] lynnfinefood:
yes i think i fly up the second time the 2 sept

[20:08:09] theInkster:
you do not work on the weekends while here?

[20:08:59] lynnfinefood:
usually no for me but this is a diffenent kind of job for me not my usual

[20:09:36] theInkster:
I will pencil you in.......have a slave coming up from New York for an "abduction/interrogation" fantasy for a week starting August 16th.....should be interesting

[20:09:37] lynnfinefood:
they may have some special runs .. but would think usually late at night during week but i really don know

[20:10:11] theInkster:
had you been around the end of August, you could have watched, if you wish

[20:10:23] lynnfinefood:
wow smile

[20:12:47] lynnfinefood:
damn i see what you are talking about i lost my connect now

[20:12:56] MistressInk:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[20:13:27] MistressInk:
<just sitting here>

[20:13:30] lynnfinefood:
ho

[20:13:35] MistressInk:
holy!!

[20:13:53] MistressInk:
having an identity crisis

[20:13:57] lynnfinefood:
holy smoke

[20:14:18] MistressInk:
I was going to say......before I was d.c.

[20:14:45] lynnfinefood:
when i was warking

[20:14:50] lynnfinefood:
working

[20:15:04] lynnfinefood:
about last of aug for us

[20:15:26] lynnfinefood:
<just sitting here>

[20:15:36] lynnfinefood:
the sub from ny

[20:15:43] MistressInk:
she's only 24, and wants just Me for the first 48 hours

[20:16:25] MistressInk:
<just sitting here>

[20:16:30] lynnfinefood:
that would be exciting i know for both of you

[20:16:50] lynnfinefood:
that will be

[20:17:01] MistressInk:
<just sitting here>

[20:17:27] lynnfinefood:
hello again im sorry abouttake you tho this hell Mistress

[20:17:42] MistressInk:
can be emotionally and intellectually draining

[20:18:08] lynnfinefood:
i do this all day

[20:18:28] lynnfinefood:
you should see some of the people i train for the computer

[20:18:30] MistressInk:
you may live to regret this......*wink* I will have some serious correction to do to you

[20:19:08] lynnfinefood:
waiters,, golf pros ,, foriengn salad girl from loastas

[20:19:18] MistressInk:
I will give you your own little "hell"....lol......but it will be sweet, I assure you

[20:19:44] MistressInk:
hmmmm.....foreign salad girls.......sounds exotic

[20:19:49] MistressInk:
<just sitting here>

[20:20:10] lynnfinefood:
not really usually short and fat an mean as hell

[20:20:34] MistressInk:
English as a second language, and needing puter instruction?

[20:20:52] MistressInk:
that must be a challenge

[20:21:06] lynnfinefood:
what english asian or spanish

[20:21:50] MistressInk:
the instruction must be a challenge for you......to be patient enough

[20:21:58] lynnfinefood:
now putter instruction ... shall i bring my puter for you Mistress...? you could touch my lips with it

[20:22:44] MistressInk:
putter, or puter........golf or electronics....lol

[20:23:00] lynnfinefood:
on end is small might fit into my ass too

[20:23:06] MistressInk:
and which lips?

[20:23:07] lynnfinefood:
golf puter

[20:23:18] lynnfinefood:
pussy lips mistresss

[20:24:09] MistressInk:
have a nice slim vibrating butt plug to show you

[20:24:39] MistressInk:
and I also have the " OH MY GOD" size as well......My personal favourite

[20:24:43] lynnfinefood:
it will be fun to see if i can leave cananda in dec with out another tatoo

[20:25:40] theInkster:
<Has left the Dungeon (autologout).>

[20:25:40] MistressInk:
ever had the experience of a "strap-on", slave?

[20:26:01] lynnfinefood:
yes,,,,,

[20:26:42] MistressInk:
mmmmm.........and what size?

[20:27:33] lynnfinefood:
im not sure i know... and really not much or long .. mus t have been small

[20:27:42] lynnfinefood:
was not mine i dont have one

[20:27:59] MistressInk:
you are definately in for a treat then......

[20:39:25] finefood:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[20:39:46] finefood:
hi i went all way out

[20:40:07] finefood:
are you sill there

[20:40:15] MadamInk:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[20:40:33] finefood:
hi

[20:40:44] finefood:
sorry a bout that i went all the way out

[20:40:48] MadamInk:
back......can you access the I.M. on alt's site?

[20:41:00] MadamInk:
Me as well

[20:41:28] finefood:
im not sure i can chat alt but it worse than this

[20:41:31] MadamInk:
alt messenger requires no download

[20:41:55] finefood:
let me try chat alt

[20:42:45] lynnfinefood:
<Has left the Dungeon (autologout).>

[20:42:45] MadamInk:
alts is worse than this? haven't had that much problem with it so far.....ok, meet you there.....won't close here til I see if it works there

[20:43:07] MistressInk:
<Has left the Dungeon (autologout).>

[20:46:24] finefood:
im on can you invite me

[20:46:29] MadamInk:
am there

[20:47:20] finefood:
where

[20:47:32] finefood:
chat or mess

[20:47:36] MadamInk:
alt

[20:47:59] MadamInk:
I.M. am paging you actually.....lol

[20:49:56] MadamInk:
<just sitting here>

[20:50:57] finefood:
me to im at messager you if no

[20:51:15] finefood:
not working g

[20:51:37] finefood:
for me

[20:51:59] MadamInk:
bummer......well, have to stay here then.......hang on, will sign out of alt

[20:53:24] MadamInk:
back........give Me a sec, was baking cookies earlier and need to put them away....brb.....and don't laugh, yes I bake cookies

[20:54:26] finefood:
ok

[20:55:43] MadamInk:
am back

[20:55:58] MadamInk:
<just sitting here>

[20:55:59] MadamInk:
<just sitting here>

[20:56:21] MadamInk:
so, this has been tedious....lol

[20:57:35] finefood:
ok yes

[20:57:52] MadamInk:
Master Blue should be home shortly from second job

[20:58:01] finefood:
smile if we fail this time les stop ok Mistress

[20:58:32] MadamInk:
good enough......

[20:59:28] finefood:
any way 24 year old from ny and lynn gets a strap on in her ass or puss

[20:59:58] MadamInk:
so, I'm thinking dinner.......then drinks at a strip club for the three of U/us on Sept 5th

[21:00:54] finefood:
ok that will work

[21:01:34] MadamInk:
<just sitting here>

[21:02:38] finefood:
hi you here

[21:02:52] MadamInk:
24 yr old even gets strap on down her throat......but she wishes Me to show NO mercy with her.....is different with you

[21:03:33] MadamInk:
<just sitting here>

[21:04:10] MadamInk:
she requires sheer terror for 48 hours.....then I will let her out to discuss if she wants more

[21:04:17] finefood:
i never thouth about it .. however , i think of my self submissive when playing

[21:04:53] MadamInk:
she originally wanted Me to keep her in "lock down" for a whole week.....but I would not agree

[21:05:14] MadamInk:
she wishes to have no safe word

[21:06:01] MadamInk:
and the fact that another female is agressive towards you turns your crank

[21:06:05] finefood:
ok ... im not quite that open yet

[21:06:40] MadamInk:
I will warn you, I just may play with you while W/we're out.......if you are comfortable with that

[21:07:19] MadamInk:
as I said.....We can adjust to ALL levels of interest

[21:07:33] finefood:
im not sure about hat either ... i just love sex i know that i love the feel of another female ... as a submissive which is kinda different . i like the lost of control

[21:08:23] finefood:
i love for you to play with me while we are out i love that ... an if you are in as Mistress i will respect that

[21:08:35] MadamInk:
if I were to take you into the bathroom, into a stall.......for a feel........that kind of thing, but if not.....no problem either

[21:09:01] MadamInk:
<just sitting here>

[21:09:07] finefood:
sound ok that seem good ok for me

[21:09:19] MadamInk:
tough to follow the conversation, eh? LMAO!

[21:10:02] MadamInk:
or at the table? in the truck?......outside the bar?

[21:10:24] finefood:
would you eat my clit and bring me to orgamism that i really like in the bathroom and would like doing that to you

[21:10:28] MadamInk:
and what shall you wear for Me?

[21:11:20] MadamInk:
that is the kind of thing I love......the "chance" of someone walking in....or seeing U/us

[21:11:27] finefood:
short skirt no panties. heels and or blue short short

[21:12:01] finefood:
a white top open around the waiste and low cut no bra belly showing speggite straps

[21:12:27] MadamInk:
perfect.....as well as tank top, no bra (preferably white top....looks great with the black lites in the bar)

[21:12:42] finefood:
that would be ok too if you want to show and tell

[21:12:59] MadamInk:
W/we are on the "same page" I see........perfect

[21:13:21] MadamInk:
definately.......would love that

[21:13:41] finefood:
me too!!

[21:13:52] MadamInk:
all will be checked with you first.....to make sure you are O.K. with everything

[21:14:33] MadamInk:
two good looking chicks feeling each other in public? the guys will go nuts......I love it! lol

[21:14:51] finefood:
im not that big of baby.. Mistress Ink i just don't want to be marked or sold or you know

[21:16:11] MadamInk:
I never like to assume anything either.......and never marked or sold.....absolutely OUT of the question.....no worries......want you all to Ourselves

[21:17:58] finefood:
ok what next Smile

[21:19:14] finefood:
dd

[21:19:16] MadamInk:
after that.....home with Us.....maybe a little drive first.......then home for a douple drinks......and the time of your life

[21:19:27] MadamInk:
couple...oops

[21:19:36] MadamInk:
<just sitting here>

[21:19:37] MadamInk:
<just sitting here>

[21:19:39] MadamInk:
<just sitting here>

[21:19:51] MadamInk:
so much for the spelling

[21:20:21] finefood:
ho ho

[21:21:24] MadamInk:
<just sitting here>

[21:21:53] finefood:
hi

[21:22:00] MadamInk:
Master Blue will not drink til later as He will be driving U/us

[21:23:02] finefood:
ho ok

[21:24:55] MadamInk:
would you like to try and chat with Master Blue? He has just arrived home

[21:26:09] finefood:
yes Mistress please .. im getting tired i

[21:26:26] finefood:
hello Master

[21:26:34] MadamInk:
Hello there how are you doing

[21:27:00] finefood:
fine thank you

[21:27:22] finefood:
i have lead a class of about 40 all day

[21:28:17] MadamInk:
I see ,, and what was the class about ??

[21:29:11] finefood:
i install solf ware in country clubs.. so the pro shop and food worker and accounting people

[21:29:36] MadamInk:
I see ,, and how did it go ??

[21:29:44] finefood:
bookeep system and food beverage cash ring system

[21:29:58] finefood:
also for clothes starting time and member names

[21:30:07] MadamInk:
did it go well for you ??

[21:30:25] finefood:
ok lots of foriengn people work here at this club not the mid west

[21:31:16] finefood:
so im at hotel now an ready for dinner and have short shorts not panties and a white top on

[21:31:54] finefood:
yes good it my second time here so have had for 3 weeks

[21:32:07] MadamInk:
mmmm that sounds yummy to me ,, dam wish We are there now

[21:33:08] MadamInk:
so what's for dinner ??

[21:33:25] MadamInk:
you know what it would be if I and Mistress Ink were there ??

[21:33:27] finefood:
you could take a pair of swisor and cut the croch

[21:34:12] finefood:
out ... so im going to have a shrimp salad and white wine at the hotel not the club

[21:34:53] MadamInk:
mmm I don't think I would need scissors ,,, I would just use My teeth

[21:35:05] finefood:
no tell me Sir

[21:35:43] MadamInk:
A long slong and pussy pie

[21:36:45] finefood:
i read in the wall street journal today about japanees girl wearing school uniforms.. so i am going to buy on a short pleated skirt white blouse with a color bow would you like that sir

[21:36:57] finefood:
so i look like im in hight school

[21:37:46] MadamInk:
yes I do believe I would like that ,,, but make sure the top is at least one or two sizes smaller on you ,,,

[21:38:15] finefood:
i will wear that when i get to know you sept 5 on friday night

[21:39:34] MadamInk:
Yes Mistress Ink informed Me about the date change ,, and W/we will have to celebrate Our birthdays then

[21:40:18] finefood:
oh i still will be in town 2 night in aug ..

[21:40:33] finefood:
she missed understood i think

[21:41:14] MadamInk:
yes ,, but She told me that you would be busy though ,, which is fine ,, I can wait ,, ( or should I say not wanting to wait )

[21:41:21] finefood:
tight white top small

[21:42:20] MadamInk:
yes ,, that would be very nice ,, but only if it looks good that way ok ,,,

[21:42:25] finefood:
i had hoped we could meet one night but im not sure of my requirement on this job

[21:42:35] Robynsdahar:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[21:43:04] Robynsdahar:
Good evening *bowing deeply to all gathered*

[21:44:03] MadamInk:
yes that is ok ,,, really ,,, but if you are able to get away to see Us ,, just call and let Us know ,, and W/we can set something up

[21:44:11] Robynsdahar:
Here early for tonight's discussion? *warm smile*

[21:44:13] finefood:
ok will make sure it looks good

[21:44:53] MadamInk:
I expect one to bow to Me in Our dungeon

[21:44:54] finefood:
oh she did miss understand .. i was planing on see you hell or high water

[21:45:03] MadamInk:
are you Male or female ?

[21:45:33] Robynsdahar:
male Madam *Deep bow*

[21:46:29] Robynsdahar:
... *blushes softly*

[21:46:33] MadamInk:
sorry ,, but I only work with females at the moment

[21:46:50] finefood:
what is the discussion about ?

[21:46:54] satxsubmale:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[21:46:55] Robynsdahar:
Please excuse me *bowing softly to each* I did not mean to intrude

[21:47:23] Robynsdahar:
Journaling

[21:47:32] Robynsdahar:
Good evening satx *soft bow*

[21:47:37] MadamInk:
and that is wonderful little one ,, glad to hear that ,,, I / We can't wait to see you and both give you totally deep throating kisses when W/we meet

[21:47:49] finefood:
Sir this may be a public room with a meeting coming up

[21:48:08] satxsubmale:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[21:48:13] MadamInk:
not a problem Robyn ,, you did not know ,, thank you

[21:48:26] finefood:
what the hell is journaling may i ask

[21:48:33] satxsubmale:
good evening to one and A/all.

[21:48:40] Robynsdahar:
*nodding softly*

[21:48:49] Robynsdahar:
Good evening again satx *soft bow*

[21:49:07] MadamInk:
Yes I found that out ,, thank you little one ,,, I had thought that Mistress Ink made the room up

[21:49:24] satxsubmale:
thank you, thank you....a small BRC error...wouldnt allow me on correctly.

[21:49:34] satxsubmale:
butt alas....now i am here.

[21:50:02] Robynsdahar:
I am looking at that current error.. it messed up the chat list but I can still see the chat so I am hanging around

[21:50:31] finefood:
so sir i think i should go eat .. so i can get up early 10 pm here in fairfax va

[21:50:51] MadamInk:
yes will you be on tomorrow night ??

[21:51:22] MadamInk:
Mistress Ink was inquiring ??

[21:51:26] finefood:
no we wil be doing the kichen thing again

[21:51:55] finefood:
this club may be to busy for that

[21:52:49] MadamInk:
that is ok ,,, if you get a chance give Us a mail then ok

[21:53:59] Robynsdahar:
<just sitting here>

[21:56:32] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[21:56:53] satxsubmale:
goooood evening MsRobyn.

[21:57:42] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
hello satxsub ~smiles warmly

[21:57:56] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
Hello MadamInk, finefood...are you here for the Velvet Glove discussion?

[21:58:00] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
~kisses my boy's forehead

[21:59:29] Robynsdahar:
*bowing deeply to you, holding for a moment rises* Thank you my Duchess

[22:00:07] MadamInk:
<Has left the Dungeon>

[22:00:24] DuncanOShea:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[22:01:03] DuncanOShea:
Good evening, my friends!

[22:01:16] torm:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[22:01:17] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
I am sending notices...be right with you

[22:01:37] Robynsdahar:
*kneels quietly, hands upon small of back*

[22:01:43] Brenna:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[22:01:44] satxsubmale:
g'eve duncan and torm

[22:01:53] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
ok...

[22:01:56] Brenna:
Good evening, all

[22:02:01] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
satxsub - can I PLEASE call you by your name? ~laughs

[22:02:05] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
hello Brenna ~hugs

[22:02:10] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
hey Duncan ~smiles, hugs~

[22:02:15] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
hello torm...~kisses my girl

[22:02:17] satxsubmale:
g'eve Brenna

[22:02:17] torm:
hello A/all quietly said

[22:02:26] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
ok so i'm barely running a lil late...please bare with me

[22:02:39] StacyCat:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[22:02:51] torm:
hugs dar, and kisses Moma.... lays flat on my tummy near Tthem

[22:03:17] Robynsdahar:
*soft bow* Good evening torm

[22:03:40] DuncanOShea:
~Hugs~ right back at ya, RoByn! ~Grin

[22:03:49] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
ok. welcome everyone to the Velvet Glove Open Forum...the regular Tuesday night on topic BDSM discussion held here at the BRC and moderated by yours truly

[22:04:07] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
tonight's topic is...journalling and how it relates to BDSM and the benefits it can have on your journey through the lifestyle

[22:04:41] Brenna:
<sigh>

[22:04:41] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
please remember...even if you have nothing to say, hit enter approx every 10 minutes or so or you WILL time out...the chat software dumps you if you are not active

[22:05:12] Robynsdahar:
*softly* Please remember to hit the talk button from time to time to keep the autolog off program away from you. If the chat begins to fail typically we meet in the D/s resource center at www.webmaze.com

[22:05:17] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
also...please be aware that we sometimes have problems with the chat room. if this happens, we normally adjourn to Webmaze to the D/s resource center chat room

[22:05:36] DuncanOShea:
This ought to be interesting... even to a Vanilla like me... no, *Especially* to a vanilla like myself!

[22:05:45] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
having said all of that, let's get started

[22:06:06] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
First off, a little bit about journals in and of themselves.

[22:06:44] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
not everyone writes a diary or journal, and if you have never done it you might not be aware of the benefits you can gain from one. putting your thoughts into words helps you straighten them out, set them in order. sometimes it helps you to identify what is bothering you about a situation, when otherwise you wouldn't have realized it.

[22:06:52] torm:
<just sitting here>

[22:06:58] finefood:
<Has left the Dungeon (autologout).>

[22:07:10] Robynsdahar:
<just sitting here>

[22:07:14] DuncanOShea:
I hear that!

[22:07:18] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
the actual process of taking thoughts flying around your head and trying to put them into words can be soothing, and it can be cathartic to actually just write it down, see it on paper. Sometimes, that's all you need do with a problem, and it is almost as if it goes away

[22:07:47] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
there are LOTS of different kinds of journals that can be kept...and the internet is a fabulous place to help with your journalling. I have some experience with this and would like to share that experience, and get some input from others

[22:08:17] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
journals can be private, semi-private, or public. they can be on one particular topic, or just on life in general. they can be written in daily, more than once per day, weekly, or just as the mood strikes you.

[22:08:55] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
for me personally - with bipolar disorder and just a busy, complicated life, when I journal I find myself more at peace and more able to get a handle on my problems, and come up with ways to solve them. that's a personal experience.

[22:09:50] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
I began journalling a long time ago, but it was...~thinking~ when my daughter was around 18 months...which puts it...fall/winter of 2000 that I was shown www.opendiary.com and began a diary there. Open Diary is one of many online journaling communities which allows journalists to read and comment on other journals, make friends, etc.

[22:09:52] torm:
<just sitting here>

[22:10:53] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
being in a community helped a WHOLE lot...others gave support, came to care about my life, came to know me much more intimately than I ever would have guessed. Of course, they were not people i saw in a chat room and said Hi how are you i'm fine how are you...they were people who read my journals...the most intimate things I chose to write about, they saw. they learned me from the inside out. many of them never knew where I lived, what I looked like...but they knew my soul

[22:12:43] DuncanOShea:
<just sitting here>

[22:12:49] Brenna:
<listens attentively>

[22:12:58] Robynsdahar02:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[22:13:27] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[22:13:33] torm:
listens quietly

[22:13:47] Robynsdahar02:
*quietly puts a pillow down in her seat*

[22:13:54] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
ack. it ate some posts. ~tries to recompose~

[22:13:58] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
ok...

[22:14:06] torm:
leans over and puts a pillow under bro

[22:14:17] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
a DISadvantage to writing in a journal community is that if you have a falling out with someone, you can't just block them from your diary

[22:14:26] StacyCat:
<just sitting here>

[22:14:52] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
because I shared my diary location with RT friends...who, naturally enough, ended up starting THEIR diaries there...and sharing THEM with friends...there was quickly a circle of people I knew and semi-knew who had access to my personal thoughts.

[22:15:24] DuncanOShea:
That sounds dangerous, opening your soul to strangers...Exciting!, you never know when someone will "click" with you...

[22:15:25] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
and more than once, i'm sorry to say, those intimate feelings were used against me in some pretty bad situations. because of bitterness...pain, memories. it is hard for me to keep a journal at opendiary anymore.

[22:15:45] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
I still maintain an account there and keep up with some close friends...but unfortunately, I am not longer comfortable writing there.

[22:16:00] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
however...at one time I had 4 diffferent journals at open diary.

[22:16:10] Brenna:
<has had similar experiences.....sighs deeply>

[22:16:24] torm:
god i am good at keeping up with one let alone four

[22:16:48] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
1 was a "mistress journal" kept for a long distance sub of mine from NYC where I spoke of issues and growth in our relationship...one I kept my poetry and forwards in (I lost that journal, I'm sorry to say, and along with it some really good original writing ~growl~)

[22:17:04] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
one was a personal journal...and one was a BDSM journal where I tried to put my writings and essays in regards to the lifestyle and BDSM

[22:17:20] satxsubmale:
<Has left the Dungeon (autologout).>

[22:17:27] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
I still have most of the journals saved to the HD as at open diary you can archive your journals to a text file, in case you choose to delete it at some point.

[22:18:35] Robynsdahar02:
<just sitting here>

[22:18:39] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
Also at open diary - was my long distance submissive from alabama (who moved to San Antonio about 9 months later)...and when that relationship went sour it was one thing that burned me on the site. another thing that keeps me from Open Diary is that they now have a pay and a free site...and a lot of my good "intimate" friends went to the pay site...and are no longer there, either. losing touch with them kinda hurt.

[22:18:45] satxsubmale:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[22:18:49] DuncanOShea:
*nods* the Internet is so fleeting and changing so often... Backups are a good idea!

[22:18:50] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
But...that is NOT the only place you can journal online.

[22:19:05] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
other locations you can find for journaling, if you like the community idea, are blurty.com and livejournal.com

[22:19:14] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
each with different features and uses

[22:19:43] torm:
there is also .. www.inthewire.com which is really nice and lets You do all kinds of neat colors and You can make it pvt or not

[22:19:44] DuncanOShea:
Opening my notebad...

[22:19:44] StacyCat:
and blogger.com , thats what I use

[22:19:52] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
blogger.com also allows you to do online journalling (sometimes called blogging b/c they are a prominent name in the business of online journaling)...and blogger will allow you to use their software to WRITE the diary...

[22:20:20] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
but blogger also has a feature where you can publish the journal to your normal website...which is pretty handy if you want to do a journal on your website.

[22:20:27] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
~winks to Stacy~

[22:21:22] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
I found recently that a lot of RT friends of mine from the Austin scene keep journals at LiveJournal.com...and thought about starting one there, but am a lil hesistant. I currently maintain a dream journal, personal journal, and "pro Mistress" journal at blogger.com, and a personal journal at deviantart.com - an art community that has a journal feature as part of the account signup

[22:21:38] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
ok. there's my beginning spiel on journals...just...in and of themselves.

[22:21:57] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
so...accepting that they might be good and healthy to have...great. what does that have to do with BDSM?

[22:22:11] Robynsdahar:
<Has left the Dungeon (autologout).>

[22:22:11] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
dahar - why don't you share about your journal?

[22:22:50] DuncanOShea:
LOL at the timing... :-)

[22:23:04] torm:
<just sitting here>

[22:23:12] Robynsdahar02:
*smiles*

[22:23:15] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
Duncan - that was his first incarnation. dahar is down there...still ~s

[22:23:22] Robynsdahar02:
I was just about to ask permission to do so Duchess

[22:24:16] Robynsdahar02:
Well I started my journal wow 5 months ago..

[22:24:57] Robynsdahar02:
that doesn't seem right. *smiles warmly* The journaling did take me awhile to get used to because this had been the first time I journalled my thoughts and my feelings on to an electronic document.

[22:25:28] DuncanOShea:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[22:25:48] Robynsdahar02:
I keep my journal at tripod.com so its pretty much public as long as you have the URL to my website. I do my journal entries, assignments, and anything else my Duchess would like to see in or on the journal webpages

[22:27:35] Robynsdahar02:
I know that my Duchess brought up the fact that journalling makes you feel better after the fact, and it gives you a means to go back and look at where you were 5 months ago, a week ago, yesterday infact. Yesterday as an example was a very bad day for me, just lots of stress, etc. etc. etc. well while writing in my journal it was very very negative... which I gave notice about at the beginning of the journal I had a very bad outlook on this week and even the next day. Anywho today went well and I stated that amongst some other things in the journal I wrote up today when I got home.

[22:28:11] Robynsdahar02:
I went back and read the journal from yesterday those feelings are all still there they are just now easily understand and controllable because I wrote out everything that was giving me a hard time.

[22:28:57] torm:
<just sitting here>

[22:29:35] Brenna:
<listens attentively, but despises journal writing>

[22:30:13] Robynsdahar02:
But journaling to me also give my Duchess a window into my mind, what I am doing, what I am thinking, how am I doing, etc. I enjoy the fact that she reads them and spots things that peek her intrest and we discuss them. I write and write and write and may not even recognize the fact that I had done something that we discussed a few days earlier and she will bring it up. Then it hits me on c*** I shouldn't have done that... and this is real time experience *soft smile* that happened yesterday! :)

[22:30:56] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
~ruffles my boy's hair~

[22:30:59] DuncanOShea:
*Nods* Sometimes, you just want to forget the bad and concentrate on the good times... I tried that, and it eventually led to my divorce...

[22:31:07] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
dahar is pretty well hitting the nail on the head...repeatedly.

[22:31:26] Robynsdahar02:
Brenna, I felt exactly the same as you You do. If you look at some of my early journals they are maybe a paragraph or more.. with lots of spacing... but now some of them are getting to become pages and pages.. well they look like pages and pages, I haven't printed them out so I am not sure.

[22:31:38] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
journalling gets your thoughts out on paper...but also, it documents where you are, emotionally, and in regards to certain things.

[22:32:13] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
keeping a slave/BDSM/lifestyle journal can really be an eye opener. you go back later and see what areas you have grown in...see how your views changed, see how your limits expanded

[22:32:20] DuncanOShea:
You *have* to talk about the bad times... Otherwise they repeat, and repeat, and...

[22:32:21] Robynsdahar02:
ALso I enjoy reading my Duchess' personal journal. It lets me know what is going on in her life and tells me how I can be of assistance to her

[22:33:11] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
sometimes it also gives you reminders of things you had interest in, and never followed up on. and while you may not get closure in writing about a particular incident, when you go back and read it later, when you are calmer, you can get your own closure, with or without the individuals involved in something

[22:33:49] satxsubmale:
<Has left the Dungeon (autologout).>

[22:34:18] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
I read a comment on a message board just yesterday by a submissive I have had as an acquaintance for years. she found an old journal of hers, where she had copied and pasted this kind of...well...well passed around piece of writing about submissives...and she found it to be awesome....fabulous...described so much she found and loved about the lifestyle

[22:34:45] StacyCat:
<Has left the Dungeon (autologout).>

[22:34:45] StacyCat:
<Enters the Dungeon.> <just sitting here>

[22:34:48] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
only now, just a few years later, she reads the same piece and sees it as unrealistic, absurd...idealistic, glossing over the realities of a long term relationship.

[22:34:59] torm:
<just sitting here>

[22:35:45] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
as a Dominant, a regular journal kept by my submissives helps in a few areas. 1, it helps me to keep an eye on the pulse of their life, things that are important enough to write in a journal are MOST LIKELY important enough that I want to know about them too. it shows me where their priorities are.

[22:35:50] Brenna:
I'm certain journals can be helpful. My only experience is pouring out my soul in a journal just to have First Girl tear it apart, and me, too.

[22:36:03] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
2) it gives a location to keep written assignments, and feedback on scenes and session times...

[22:37:10] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
3)a journal is a place where (my personal view) my submissive can express ANYTHING...with no fear of reprisals. I expect a journal to be honest, open...it is not a place for a sub to worry about what I think or will think.

[22:37:39] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
and if my submissives realize this, the journal provides a means of totally open communication, without fear of "I can't say this to Mistress" or "how will she take this"

[22:37:40] Brenna:
I do use essays that way

[22:38:09] Brenna:
But I write to the same theme as my slave and my trainee

[22:38:29] CC:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[22:38:39] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
when I keep a Mistress journal to share with my submissives, it provides them with an idea of where I seem them needing improvement, where I am taking them, directions training might go, and gives them a chance to see honest opinions from my heart of our relationships...my pride in them, disappointments or joys, pleasures and pains.

[22:39:32] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
Brenna - I am absolutely horrified to find that someone would read your journal and tear you apart with it...if it was kept as a slave journal. my personal opinion is that while I have the privilege of reading (the right, if I assigned it) journals my sub's write...their opinions and feelings are just that...and as such are not something to criticize or tear apart

[22:39:43] CC:
catching up a bit .... I do have a question when it wont wreck the flow of things

[22:39:44] DuncanOShea:
Greetings, CC!

[22:40:00] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
I may find a journal entry thought provoking, and it may stem a discussion, but I am coming at it from wanting to understand their mindset, not from trying to correct them

[22:40:04] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
CC - help yourself ~s

[22:40:08] Brenna:
yes, well, we know that not everyone is equally as adept at being a dominant

[22:40:34] Brenna:
I'm over it now, but it has left a discriminating taste....I rarely write for anyone but my inner circe

[22:40:39] Brenna:
circle

[22:41:10] Brenna:
<wonders if CC will change the subject>

[22:41:26] CC:
I understand the sentiment that one should be able to express ANYTHING w/o fear of repriasals .. and in theory I agree ... then there is the reality that we can very much take to heart what is read and react in a way that may not be the very most becoming. We are, last I checked, human after all . . . so how does one deal with those possibilites?

[22:42:02] CC:
*whispers greetings to all ~ no need to respond *S*

[22:42:07] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
Brenna - well, personally, from someone who has gone through extensive therapy...which involved journalling...and one who believes in ethical ownership/dominance...I'm just appalled at that use of control

[22:42:47] torm:
<just sitting here>

[22:42:56] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
CC - my personal view is that if I read something that disturbs me in a sub's journal, then i will go to them and ask about it. if it makes me angry, it's time for me to do writing of my own...get my thoughts formulated...BEFORE talking to the submissive and possibly making a touchy situation worse.

[22:43:08] Brenna:
yes, me, too.....however, I'm surprised at what a wholesome experience it can be for the 3 of us to address a topic and discuss it at table

[22:43:40] CC:
you can however see the possibility of emotional ignition yes?

[22:43:45] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
how do we deal with any situation where we are human? we recognize our humanity. as Dominants we take steps to control our emotions and handle them...not lash out. part of the responsibility of being dominant

[22:43:53] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
yes, of course I can see it CC. ~nods~

[22:45:10] CC:
people laugh about going to a journaling class and how to set up guidelines but I think for it to be a win/win experience it is certainly not time lost. Not as glitzy as cutting or elec play for sure .. but what is the price of relationship longevity?

[22:45:17] DuncanOShea:
Take the journal entries as statements of fact... If somone says privately that you are being a jerk, then take a moment and think about why they feel that way...

[22:46:00] DuncanOShea:
That is what I try to do..

[22:46:06] Robynsdahar02:
*smiles and nods with CC*

[22:46:18] CC:
just curious here ... (and of course I may have missed it) what are the things you LIKE about journaling?

[22:46:48] Brenna:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[22:47:17] Robynsdahar02:
communication, emotional release :)

[22:47:44] StacyCat:
<just sitting here>

[22:48:05] CC:
*listens to dahar and contemplates*

[22:48:19] CC:
and what, pray tell, does one NOT like about journaling

[22:48:45] TKsKit:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[22:49:00] Robynsdahar02:
*thinks*

[22:49:01] Brenna:
I don't journal per se, but I do write essays, which I like doing because it's focused

[22:49:03] HHH:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[22:49:18] Robynsdahar02:
they can be used against you

[22:49:22] torm:
<Has left the Dungeon>

[22:49:32] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
CC - I would LOVE to see a journalling class localling, and take dahar and torm, for that matter

[22:49:33] DuncanOShea:
If someone says that I am being a jerk, I listen.. the problem is finding someone who will be honest enough to tell me that to my face or in a journal

[22:49:41] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
KITTEN!!!!!!!!!!!! ~tackling hugs~ OMGOMGOMG

[22:49:52] torm:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[22:50:05] TKsKit:
Hey, Robyn!

[22:50:38] Brenna:
Is it appropriate for someone to say someone else is a jerk in a public journal?

[22:50:42] DuncanOShea:
Ya can't fix a problem if you don't know that it *is* a problem...

[22:51:07] HHH:
<Has left the Dungeon>

[22:51:09] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
hello HHH ~smiles warmly~ welcome to the Velvet Glove Open Forum...you've caught us towards the end of our discussion...but tonight's topic is journalling and how it relates to BDSM and BDSM relationships

[22:51:41] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
Brenna - my personal opinion is that my journal, public or private, is my journal. I never censor myself in my journal. sometimes i know what I have to say might hurt someone. it's not my goal...but...I simply write my feeligns

[22:52:18] CC:
DuncanOShea ... and why do you suppose that someone would not wish to be that "honest"?

[22:52:23] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
since I"ve read in journals by submissives "ma'am is awfully touchy this week, I can't figure out how ot ask her if she is PMSing,she snaps at me for everything"

[22:52:27] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
~grins~

[22:52:37] torm:
<just sitting here>

[22:52:43] DuncanOShea:
<just sitting here>

[22:52:50] CC:
snickers

[22:52:58] Brenna:
I suppose if the reader doesn't want to know he/she can simply stop reading

[22:53:18] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
and that was a journal about me, by the way. ~grins~ what it did was make me realise that I WAS touchy...and consider how my actions were affecting those around me

[22:53:34] CC:
Robyn ~ when I DO journal I have a tendancy to do it twice ...

[22:54:01] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
what I love about journalling is that most times when people write journals...they are honest and intimate...

[22:54:27] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
what I dislike about journalling is when it feels like work is when I most need to sit down and do it. it's hard to force myself to write...but I always have a load off when I DO write

[22:54:43] TKsKit:
<agrees with Robyn re the honest/intimate>

[22:54:59] torm:
<just sitting here>

[22:55:12] CC:
Especially if I know that my emotions are running high ... I will write my feelings and then stand back and look at it to make sure that it is conveying what I wish it to do IF I am journaling WITH someone about our relationship.

[22:55:22] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
~thinks about my 2nd most recent journal and just blushes~ um...yes. intimate ~LOL

[22:55:40] DuncanOShea:
CC:... Been there, dealt with that, Trying to recover and Robyn has been a *Big* help!!! ~Grin!

[22:56:02] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
however...I do think there is benefit to private journalling...especially for as CC said...when emotions are running high.

[22:56:14] Robynsdahar02:
<just sitting here>

[22:56:30] CC:
I have journaled with private journals /duel journals and public journals and I do not use them in the same way

[22:56:45] TKsKit:
also a way to express feelings and review instead of blurting verbally, which can be counterproductive, yes?

[22:56:45] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
and I have text files galore on CD and hard drive with my own private journalling moments...moments that I know others would not understand, or would read and come away concerned for my mental health

[22:57:07] CC:
exactly TKsKit

[22:57:12] torm:
<just sitting here>

[22:57:18] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
Kitten - definitely. putting your thoughts into words helps you figure out what the real problem is...and helps to isolate which item is the real issue and which are all just side issues

[22:57:41] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
CC - I know that I use my different journals in different ways...~nods softly~

[22:57:43] CC:
wonders aloud if "mental health" in itself is a dicotomy

[22:57:56] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
which is one of the reasons to go ahead and HAVE more than one journal, or do public and private entries

[22:58:07] CC:
its kind of like saying military intelligence

[22:58:24] CC:
just kidding ...........

[22:58:34] Brenna:
<yawns and stretches and wishes everyone a good night's sleep>

[22:58:42] TKsKit:
point made, CC

[23:00:21] DuncanOShea:
Ug... that is why I dread Realtime chats like this one... I would rather take the time to think about what I want to say, rather than just post whatever pops to the top of my head...

[23:00:40] DuncanOShea:
I'm working on that fear, though...

[23:00:53] Robynsdahar02:
<just sitting here>

[23:00:54] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
g'night Brenna ~hugs

[23:01:18] DuncanOShea:
Be well, Brenna!

[23:01:35] CC:
but DuncanOShea ~ they also give one the opportunity to interact with differing viewpoints

[23:01:40] CC:
n'night Brenna

[23:01:49] torm:
<just sitting here>

[23:02:04] CC:
and with that food for thought we can challenge our ideas, add to some and discard others

[23:02:14] DuncanOShea:
True, CC...

[23:02:46] StacyCat:
<Has left the Dungeon (autologout).>

[23:03:24] TKsKit:
Blurting will also make known truely inner feelings

[23:03:24] DuncanOShea:
The big "Honesty problem" is: Is my partner (Dom/sub) actually listening?

[23:03:47] TKsKit:
Get things out that would otherwise remain unsaid.

[23:04:23] Robynsdahar02:
<just sitting here>

[23:04:31] TKsKit:
Ouch, Dunc, that's rough

[23:04:59] CC:
Journaling takes the guesswork out of that doesnt it? *S*

[23:05:14] CC:
One HAS to respond or show their disinteresst

[23:05:16] CC:
or contempt

[23:05:24] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
Duncan - I know that some people have that concern. I try to comment on dahar's journal with at least one specific comment to keep him aware that I DO keep up with what he says

[23:05:26] DuncanOShea:
You can Blurt your feelings to your journal... but will your partner consider them rantings, or well thought out feelings...

[23:05:46] TKsKit:
and what if one doesn't, cc?

[23:06:08] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
however, it is important to note that just because you journal daily does not mean that your partner has time to read them daily, and you should be patient for their schedule to get feedback on your journalling

[23:06:13] CC:
journaling in any relationship/regardless of lifestyle can benefit

[23:06:21] Robynsdahar02:
*soft smile*

[23:06:41] CC:
there is however a way in which journals can be somewhat detrimental

[23:06:56] DuncanOShea:
Understood, Robyn... FidoNet Echomail taught me patience...

[23:07:01] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
Duncan - the question is, are your jounalled feelings blurtings, or are they well thought out? I know that if dahar's journal starts with words like rant, soap box, or something else, this journal will be essentially "downloading" - getting the emotions OUT in words. some of his other writings are more well thought out

[23:07:53] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
however...I expect a journal to be a download, mostly. it puts thoughts and feelings into words so that I can be approached RT (in IM or on phone or in chat room) about a concern...that my submissives have given thought to, after thinking and then writing about it. that lets them present it to me in a better manner

[23:08:35] torm:
<just sitting here>

[23:08:42] DuncanOShea:
Ahem.. I tend to hit the "backspace" Key often... I *TRY* to think before I post... even privately...

[23:09:18] Robynsdahar02:
*warm smile*

[23:10:06] TKsKit:
Just a statement - communication is a large percentage and crucial part of relationships, without honest dialogue, there really isn't a relationship.

[23:10:09] CC:
<Enters the Dungeon.> ways actually ... for them to be effective there needs to be participation(unless of course we are speaking about a private journal) ... w/o that it is like a conversation with a deaf/mute ... non-productive. Another drawback is if one/both of the participants are not particularly adept at conveying their emotions in written form or perhaps their skills are lacking

[23:10:33] CC:
*looks in amazement* I had NO idea I had left!

[23:10:41] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
one of the reasons I love to journal online instead of by writing is that I type faster than I write...so for me, my fingers keep up (almost) with my thoughts...

[23:10:54] TKsKit:
think that's why it takes so long to post here, huh, Robyn?? grin <I'm agreeing>

[23:11:21] Robynsdahar02:
<just sitting here>

[23:11:47] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
adeptness at expressing emotionsl in written form...those skills strengthen the more you write

[23:11:56] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
~winks to Kitten~ sure honey ~lol

[23:12:16] TKsKit:
oops, that was for Duncan... see review and backspace & still get it wrong... *G

[23:13:38] DuncanOShea:
Um...TksKit... How do you deal with it when you say one thing, and your partner assumes that you meant something else entirely? How do you cope with a situation where *You* are being honest, and your partner assumes that you are not?

[23:13:39] CC:
<just sitting here>

[23:13:59] Robynsdahar03:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[23:14:06] torm:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[23:14:17] TKsKit2:
<Enters the Dungeon>

[23:14:48] TKsKit2:
That's a tough one, Dunc.... <thinking>

[23:15:51] TKsKit2:
Based on what I have learned re communicating, I would ask why what I'm saying is not being taken the way I meant.

[23:16:19] DuncanOShea:
<Listening>

[23:16:23] TKsKit2:
What did the person listening "hear" me say. How did they get "there" when what I meant is "this".

[23:17:21] TKsKit2:
Ask questions to further your understanding of their thought processes that took them "there".

[23:17:30] CC:
<just sitting here>

[23:17:41] DuncanOShea:
Good question...

[23:17:45] CC:
mutters that some people are just not meant for the written word!

[23:17:55] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
my experience with that...skewed communication...has been thus. first off - when I hear something someone says to me, repeat it back in different words to confirm I understand what they mean. and if they don't know how to do this with me, teach them

[23:18:21] torm:
<just sitting here>

[23:18:30] TKsKit2:
good process, Robyn

[23:18:36] DuncanOShea:
How about when you say "No" to the same question 4 times in a row, then they ask the same question again?

[23:18:52] TKsKit2:
confirm you heard what they meant. or ask them to confirm back what you said

[23:18:53] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
and...when my experience with my husband deteriorated, i learned there simply wasn't enough trust on either side for either of us to believe anything the other was saying. when that happens every time, it's a sign that something should be done. whether that is marriage counseling or ending the relationship or...something

[23:19:06] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
Duncan ~laughs softly~ oh this i have experience with. ~chuckles~

[23:19:13] TKsKit2:
Ask them why they are not accepting your answer

[23:19:25] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
"what do you want for dinner?" "I don't care" "are steaks ok?" "I dont' care" "would you rather have pizza" I finally just say...

[23:19:43] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
believe me when I say I really don't care WHAT we have for dinner. I know you will make me eat, but what it is will matter not at ALL to me

[23:20:11] TKsKit2:
TK does that to me.... grin

[23:20:26] TKsKit2:
drives me nuts.

[23:20:28] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
and part of that repeated questioning comes from lack of understanding. my fiance ALWAYS has some form of feedback one way or another about what he eats. same w/ my dad. so when they say what do you want to eat and I say I don't care, they assume it means "I am being too lazy to thinka bout it" or "I can't put it into words"

[23:21:25] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
th solution to that,w ith my fiance, was to sit down and explain to him that we have totally different views about food, how little food is a priority to me, and that sometimes when I am particularly prone to panic attacks, questions like that are too stressful for me. i'm not being lazy, i simply am not CAPABLE of putting that much effort into a decision that truly does NOT matter to me

[23:21:29] TKsKit2:
Thing to remember, or understand, is there is a reason behind the non-decisive answer or the lack of accepting the answer

[23:21:52] TKsKit2:
see below - grin

[23:22:06] TKsKit2:
Robyn hits it - communicate!

[23:22:20] Robynsdahar03:
<just sitting here>

[23:22:22] CC:
I do like the mirroring technique whether in journaling or in conversation/discussions ... it give one the ability to make sure one is hearing what you were saying in the way you wished them to do so

[23:22:31] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
so...since then...he has tried harder and it works out better...he has learned that the second question is not trying to get an answer out of me, it is almost always "is there something you want but you aren't sure what, or can you just not make a decision?"

[23:22:38] torm:
<just sitting here>

[23:23:18] TKsKit2:
Curious, Duncan, are we talking a sub to dom talk, or just talk?

[23:23:20] DuncanOShea:
Similar situation... she wanted to go to a certain restaurant... but she called me up and said "We're going there and *You* are paying... I asked if she meant, "Can you please take me to this restaurant?" She said "Forget it!" All I wanted was a "Please", then I would have done exactly what she wanted...

[23:24:33] DuncanOShea:
Just talk... Robyn is introducing me to the BDSM lifestyle, and I am amazed by the similareities to a non-BDSM relationship...

[23:24:49] TKsKit2:
OK, so 'she' is the girlfriend, yes?

[23:25:16] DuncanOShea:
Soon to be ex-wife.

[23:25:52] TKsKit2:
-explains some things-

[23:26:00] DuncanOShea:
After almost 8 years of me doing everything that I could to make her life wonderful, and her walking all over me...

[23:26:27] Robynsdahar02:
<Has left the Dungeon (autologout).>

[23:26:57] CC:
there simply are disfuctional relationships that need to take the time to stop and make changes or walk away... they are not beneficial for either party

[23:27:04] torm:
<just sitting here>

[23:27:18] TKsKit:
<Has left the Dungeon (autologout).>

[23:27:37] TKsKit2:
Bingo, CC!

[23:28:31] DuncanOShea:
We tried "Writing letters" to each other, but that just seemed to feed the fire, rather than get things back to normal...

[23:29:23] CC:
the problem is the "guilt" one deals with when dealing with "failed" relationships

[23:29:30] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
ok looks like we have pretty well covered the topic...I am going to leave those of you who'd like to continue to discuss. ~smiles~

[23:29:59] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
Kitten ~hugs fiercely~ it was great seeing you...dahar is near Houston ~points~...so maybe I'll head out there and visit you both one day. ~grins

[23:30:04] CC:
the difference it to look at the postive aspects (most relationships had some) ... and realize that leaving a relationship doesnt necessarily mean failure

[23:30:17] DuncanOShea:
Sleep well, Robyn!

[23:30:20] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
~slips out the door to my MSN, ICQ, and Yahoo accounts for some time with my pair~

[23:30:28] Robynsdahar03:
*soft smile*

[23:30:32] Robyn_Arctic_Bitch:
<Has left the Dungeon>

[23:30:33] TKsKit2:
Now that would be great, Robyn! big hugs

[23:30:40] Robynsdahar03:
<Has left the Dungeon>

[23:30:49] CC:
we grow past things, experiences and people and the journey doesnt necessarily benefit from staying together ... in some cases it is a detriment

[23:31:28] CC:
and with that note I too am heading for the shower and bed ...n'night y'all ... makes note of the question fo the week on the brc discussion board .. hope to see some input there

[23:32:05] TKsKit2:
See ya'll!! ~logging out~

[23:32:09] TKsKit2:
<Has left the Dungeon>

[23:32:16] DuncanOShea:
G'Night, CC... I would love to chat with you some other time...

[23:32:45] DuncanOShea:
Yahoo IM has my name...

[23:33:43] DuncanOShea:
<Has left the Dungeon>

[23:34:22] CC:
<Has left the Dungeon>